Arrival in Phuket International Airport
Transport when you land anywhere is always the first concern, I generally book a pick up with my accommodation so I don’t have to think about it. If you land in Phuket airport and are unable or unwilling to use public transport or wait for minibuses to fill up and make multiple drop offs (kiosks are outside arrivals) then proceed to the metered taxi kiosk (turn left outside of arrivals), they will ensure you get a taxi which uses the meter and you will be charged an extra 100 baht on top of the fare for the airport pick up fee.
Thailand offers a number of different sim packages at Bangkok International Airport, ranging from 5, 10, 20 and 30 day data and calling packs, however, I didn’t notice any in HKT. Purchasing and registering is done in a matter of minutes. I bought a package with Truemove (more info can be found in this blog) which gave me 15 days (50 baht call credit, 6GB high speed data) and didn’t run out, unlike my travelling buddy. Keep voice and video messaging until you get to wifi and this pack is more than ample.
Money makes the Thai world go round.
Unless you are simply swanning about in resorts you will find Thailand is a mostly cash economy. ATMs are prolific so it is very unlikely you will be stuck. If you are withdrawing on your credit card, be prepared to be charged both a cash advance fee and an ATM charge (220 Baht or approx $7 USD) so I would suggest getting out a good chunk of change with each withdrawal. You will need it for all those massages you’ll be getting at only around $20 a pop, it would be rude not to.
There is so much to do in Phuket it’s a challenge to get bored. You can try Muay Thai which will get you seriously fit. I did a 6 week camp some years back with Lion Muay Thai and was in the best shape of my life after. I started barely able to complete a 5km run and by the end my day started with a morning 10km run, an hour of training and then a 5km run and 2 hours of training, 6 days a week. Tiger Muay Thai is very popular with tourists and I have friends who loved it, but for me it wasn’t intimate enough. If you want some more information on different gyms, you can check out this site.
Yoga, spa days, Crossfit, cocktails, restaurants, watersports, cooking lessons – if you want to, you can make it rain with all your hard earned cash on this island. I chose low budget accommodation at under $95 for 9 days accommodation so that I could splurge on entertainment but there are no end of accommodation choices here for you to choose from.
Island Transportation
You can use the public buses, mini buses and tuk-tuks very easily but let’s face it, it’s nowhere near as fun as riding a scooter around the island! You can rent scooters from 150-200 baht a day and you will have no trouble finding rentals. You need an international drivers permit, by law and must wear a helmet. However, in saying that, I rented one without my international drivers permit and generally if you are stopped without the IDP or helmet you will likely just pay a cash fine to the police and be sent on your way. When you are paying 150-200 baht per spin up the beach then you will begin to appreciate the savings in having a rental. Uber no longer operates in Thailand, they use an app called Grab which is similar, however don’t expect it to be cheaper than a taxi.
Seafood and Pina Coladas for days
Food is one of my favourite things and if, like me, you are crazy about seafood then you absolutely have to visit Joy Karon Seafood. You can enjoy a platter of fresh crab, lobster, prawns, scallops, squid and a whole red snapper for less than 3000 baht (with drinks and entrees). If you arrive around 7pm you will also have the added bonus of seeing a Thai Captain Sparrow, breathe and juggle fire whilst walking a tightrope. Even if you have seen so many Phi-Phi island fire shows that this spectacle now leaves you cold, watching the wide eyed, open mouthed reactions of children seeing this for the first time is priceless. I visited Joy Karon so often during my stay that I was practically welcomed like a celebrity on my final day. The enthusiasm was probably 99% empathetic relief that for once I wasn’t eating alone but was joined by friends.
After eating a particularly fiery Thai curry one evening and searching for a liquid to soothe my tongue which also contaned alcohol, I discovered to my surprise that I like pina coladas and Phuket became the location for my search for the ultimate cocktail. If you are looking to keep costs down while you hydrate remember to bring a bottle with you and you can use the street side water refill vending machines for a couple of baht.
1st place pina colada 
Seafood cocktail 
P-Riddy demos water fill
Parasailing and Surfing
Every activity I wanted to do in Phuket seemed to cost 1500 baht approx $50. Parasailing was a first for me and there are multiple operators along Karon beach. The experience lasts less than 15 minutes and affords you a great view of the coastline. It was hella uncomfortable though as you are dangled from a harness connected to your Thai driver by the shoulder straps. You are essentially dangling at an oddly not vertical and not seated position which I found strained at my lower back as I dangled like an unmanned marionnette.
I found a surfing outfit a little further up on the same stretch of beach, although I would recommend trying Kata Beach as we ended up driving there for the less aggressive waves. Aot, my instructor was incredibly patient and encouraging for the hour and although I didn’t get fully upright, I loved it! Apparently my brain can only handle 2 steps in any sequence before needed to pause and regroup. This is sadly not feasible when, following step 2, you are hurtling towards the beach as the wave carries you in. In the words of Aot “Never give up!”.
Heeding this advice, I booked another lesson through AirBnb experiences on my last day in Phuket which i’m sorry to say turned out to be less inspiring than my first. Despite the positive reviews, it felt like this particular instructor was best suited to intermediate or advanced students and the whole instruction was rapid fire and unsuited to my particular brand of extra, extra slow learning style.
James Bond Island
This being my 13th visit to Thailand, I had done many of the excursions on offer before. I had not previously visited Phang Nga Bay, the location for The Man with the Golden Gun. Thailand is such a massively popular tourist destination that the sheer numbers of tourists battling for the perfect Insta snap can often take away from the enjoyment of a tour. With this in mind I opted for the Early Bird Premium Speedboat tour operated by Siam Adventure World. If you don’t mind the early 5-5:30 am start then you will bypass the usual bottle neck of tourists, you spend less time on the boat and there are a maximum of 25 people on each tour. The tour cost me 2900 baht approx $95 (low season) which included refreshments, fruit and toast and tea, coffee and juice for breakfast. A word of warning on the coffee to any fellow coffee snobs, you do need to check, even if it is in a filter jug, whether it actually is brewed coffee and not Nescafe (shivers).
You don’t even have to paddle your own canoe when you visit the lagoon through a cave. Our group were provided with bonus free entertainment in the form of two young American couples in their couple bubble clearly vying for a spot in the Most Selfies Taken in a Single Day contest. I was actually in awe of how many positions one could drape themselves over another human and whilst being propelled through water by a Thai lady who simultaneously had to pose in multiple group selfies.
Floating village with soccer pitch!
Jungle Elephant Sanctuary
The highlight of this trip (apart from the main wedding event) had to be the visit to the elephant sanctuary. This outfit is legit, for those of us who are still paying penance for those past tiger and elephant encounters in our days of youthful ignorance. The elephants here are rescued and live their days being cared for and bathed; you will see no elephant rides here! For 2900 baht you get to learn how the center volunteers and mahouts take care of the elephants. We helped mash up bananas and medicine for an elderly, toothless elephant, learned of the differences between Asian and African elephants (ears shaped like a map of India vs Africa, less wrinkly and more toenails to name a few), fed them bananas, then took them for a mud bath and went swimming.
Happy 
Very happy 
Blissfully happy
These huge gentle animals have a beautiful energy to them and wallowing in a mud pit in my bikini slathering them in mud as they rolled in delight is a memory which will stay with me forever. After mud baths we took them to a water pool and splashed water everywhere, I was in my element splashing around and giggling with delight as the elephants would turn making sure they got a good 360 shower or partly submerge and fart exquisitely in the ultimate relaxation maneuver.
The center has excellent and numerous shower facilities and provides shower gel and plastic bags for you to store your damp clothes and towel in after. They even have their very own elephant poop paper factory where you get to try making some handmade paper yourself and bring home a sample envelope as a souvenir. You will leave your half day at the sanctuary with a souvenir poncho, full heart from your experience and full belly from the yummy buffet lunch provided. The money you paid includes pick up and drop off at your hotel as well as free photography so you can truly live in the experience without pausing to get that perfect Insta shot.
Irish-Kiwi Wedding Extravaganza
The whole reason for my return to Southeast Asia was to share in the celebrations of two wonderful women, Kathy from Ireland and Emma from New Zealand, who met in South Korea, get married in Thailand. I know, right… hashtag expat life or what? The pictures speak to the beauty of these ladies and their wedding location and almost matches the inner beauty of their awesomeness combined. Considering a destination wedding? You could do alot worse than choosing Phuket!